How to Tackle the Restless Adolescence of Your Child
Adolescence is an age the kids are fond of and the parents fear. A
mixed bag of tantrums, maturity in some areas, many sentiments, rigid
thoughts, and ready to soar anger are some of the key identifiers of
this stage of life. You as a parent may find it difficult to cope with
the situations your teenager may often throw. Here are some possible
ways of dealing through the phase.
Be Patient
Your
wit, wisdom, experience, and logic may not be very effective now. Be
very patient and calm. You may need to work consciously at it. Being
reactive can only provoke or instill fear in the child. Even your child
undergoes a subconscious conflict and mood swings. So somewhere, he or
she is also struggling hard with the changes in his or her personality.
Respect The Perspective Your Child Has
While
trying to explain the brackets of rights and wrongs, you may actually
be imposing your standards of life on your child. He or she has his or
her own perspective, which you need to know, respect, and if required
try to subtly shape. Also, do not compare.
Trust your Teenager
With
an acutely vulnerable self esteem, your kid is trying hard to look
good, feel good, and gain fame. He or she must be struggling hard for
recognition. He or she must be trying to be important to his or her
friends, teachers, teams, etc. Fear of rejection is at an all time high.
Here, you need to trust your teenager and be proud of him or her. It
will all shine through. Make him or her know you have faith in him or
her and its okay to fail at times.
Help Your Child Evolve
Understand
that you are dealing with a different individual and you will need to
let go at some level. Do not stop your teenager from experimenting,
taking calculated risks, and getting moderately hurt. All this is a part
of learning and you will need to make way for it. Just help your child
understand that whatever he or she does in his or her own space is okay.
Set Boundaries
Set
some rules of living in the house. Define some performance and
behavioral lines for your child. Stick hard to them. Discipline needs
full polishing in this age. Clearly explain that any action or words of
your child must not hurt others in any way and that he or she needs to
respect the others space. All the while, assure him or her that you are
there. If dealt well, this instills confidence in adolescents and helps
them grow in a positive sphere.
Be Friendly
The
revolting attitude the adolescents develop requires parental tactics.
You need to be flexible. Rigidity will just not work here. You will
often not approve the ways your kid follows. But, take it easy. Reacting
sharply will only aggravate the issue. Sit and talk like a friend.
Accept your kid as he or she is. Do not judge. Give live examples to
help your kid understand your reasons. Give him or her, the option of
disagreeing. Try to understand his or her logic. Your idea is to shape a
sensible individual and not someone you can control.
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