Tips to Be Assertive - The Next Step for Self-Improvement
Assertiveness is being forthright and putting your foot down on what you think is logically right. As an assertive person you are clear and crisp about what you want and what you do not want. You fearlessly put forth your points, even if you stand alone with your views.
It is very easy to swallow your feelings and let go of what you believe in. But, if you really want to be counted, then back yourself. Be you. There are many studies to prove that decision-makers & determined people have a greater chance of succeeding than the forever-complying lot. Here are some ways to self-help in being definitive:
Make a conscious attempt and start small
Start small and in a friendly environment. When you are with your friends or family, consciously attempt to make a point of what you believe in and stand by it. After you have gained your ground here, your next level will be a formal group. When in a public gathering in a relatively less intense situation, express yourself without worrying about what others would think of you. The next level crosses the barrier of talking to implementing. Try to get things done your way. Start with something small such as asking for a separate table at a restaurant. Keep repeating each level to first convince yourself and then convey that belief to others. Soon, it will be a part of your nature.
Learn to say no
You are not in this world to please others. Find out what you like and what you do not. Set your boundaries within which others cannot invade. This is your personal space and is vital for you to grow as a person. If you are not too keen on doing something, do not do it. Just say no. This could be as little as turning down your friends for a trip you are not willing to go. Do not try to put logic to avoid saying no. Know what you want and just go ahead with it in a declared way, fearlessly.
Unless you express yourself, people will not know what you have in your mind. After some interactions with you, they will not even want to know what you want. Some aggressive ones may even try to dominate you. Overall, you convey a false impression of yourself, which may even lead to your peers discounting you at the critical times. This goes on creating a vicious circle where one thing may lead to another. The best way to avoid this is to simply express yourself. Convey your likings and disliking towards the things happening around you. Be aware and respond.
The way you sit in a meeting, the way you present yourself in public, your body language while talking to others - all adds up-to show your assertiveness. The force in your personality will show in the way you conduct yourself.
Seek professional help
Many self-improvement and personality development specialists help people work on their assertiveness. If you are able to find a right coach, seek his/her help either. By taking this step, you have already started building up your forthrightness.
Having said that, there is a very thin line between being assertive and being aggressive or even bull-headed, do not cross that. Do not jump from one weakness to another. Do not mess up your self-improvement drive. Being aggressive and non-tolerant can be very irritating and can turn off the people around you. The best way to avoid falling into such a trap is by constantly evaluating yourself. You can also ask the people you trust to give an honest feedback about your behavior and body language. To avoid being unnecessarily assertive, have the reason of self-confidence.